August 13, 2005
107 Years ago...
You know, over 100 years ago the Spanish-American War only took 4 months to win but guess what? We still get to pay for it! Makes sense... right? That war cost the U.S. $250 Million and the "temporary" tax brings in a whopping $3 Billion a year today. Read all about it...
My favorite quote from this article: "Congress voted to repeal the tax in 2000, but President Bill Clinton vetoed the measure." Do you miss Willy as much as I do??
Posted by Matt at 05:33 PM | Comments (0)
June 08, 2005
How Would the D-Day Invasion be Reported today?
This is what you would hear if today's media was reporting on D-Day at Normandy
June 6, 1944. -NORMANDY- Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more wounded today in the first hours of America's invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children. Most of the French casualties were the result of artillery fire from American ships attempting to knock out German fortifications prior to the landing of hundreds of thousands of U.S. troops.
Reports from a makeshift hospital in the French town of St. Mere Eglise said the carnage was far worse than the French had anticipated and reaction against the American invasion was running high. "We are dying for no reason," said a Frenchman speaking on condition of anonymity. "Americans can't even shoot straight. I never thought I'd say this, but life was better under Adolph Hitler."
The invasion also caused severe environmental damage. American troops, tanks, trucks and machinery destroyed miles of pristine shoreline and thousands of acres of ecologically sensitive wetlands. It was believed that the habitat of the spineless French crab was completely wiped out, threatening the species with extinction. A representative of Greenpeace said his organization, which had tried to stall the invasion for over a year, was appalled at the destruction, but not surprised. "This is just another example of how the military destroys the environment without a second thought," said Christine Moanmore. "And it's all about corporate greed." Contacted at his Manhattan condo, a member of the French government-in-exile who abandoned Paris when Hitler invaded said the invasion was based solely on American financial interests. "Everyone knows that President Roosevelt has ties to big beer," said Pierre LeWimp. "Once the German beer industry is conquered, Roosevelt's beer cronies will control the world market and make a fortune."
Administration supporters said America's aggressive actions were based in part on the assertions of controversial scientist Albert Einstein, who sent a letter to Roosevelt speculating that the Germans were developing a secret weapon, a so-called "atomic bomb." Such a weapon could produce casualties on a scale never seen before and cause environmental damage that could last for thousands of years. Hitler has denied having such a weapon and international inspectors were unable to locate such weapons even after spending two long weekends in Germany. Shortly after the invasion began reports surfaced that German prisoners had been abused by Americans. Mistreatment of Jews by Germans at so-called "concentration camps" has been rumored but so far, remains unproven.
Several thousand Americans died during the first hours of the invasion and French officials are concerned that uncollected corpses pose a public health risk. "The Americans should have planned for this in advance," they said. "It's their mess and we don't intend to clean it up."
(Sent to me in an email from a friend.)
Posted by Matt at 11:07 AM | Comments (2)
May 25, 2005
Headlines from the year 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world...
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world; Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally; scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars could now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to alternate Wednesdays only. E-mail taxed at $0.47 per line.
85-year, $75.8 billion Gov't study: Diet and Exercise might be a key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 258 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules incarceration of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines
Posted by Matt at 10:41 AM | Comments (0)
December 14, 2004
Merry Christmas!
Let's take a look at the list of anti-Christmas activity that's making the news today;
-Target has banned the Salvation Army bell-ringers.
-Denver's Christmas parade banned "Christmas" floats.
-Lake Washington High School in Kirkland Washington has banned "A Christmas Carol."
-Department stores like Macy's and Bloomingdales are "suggesting" that their employees not greet people with "Merry Christmas."
-Maplewood Schools in New Jersey are eliminating Christmas and Chanukah music from all their holiday concerts.
-New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has changed the city's Christmas tree to a "Holiday Tree."
-Time and Newsweek magazines are attempting to debunk the "Christmas Myth."
-Freedom Elementary School in East Manatee Florida is banning winter altogether.
-Roseburg Oregon now wishes to erect a "Goddess Of Youth" statue (no religion there.)
Here's what's going on in our society right now; As a Democracy, we live under the premise that the majority rules. What do you call it when the minority imposes their will upon the majority? You call it socialism.
In this country, 90% of us celebrate Christmas, but we don't impose it on every household. Don't celebrate if you don't want to, but don't stop the 90% MAJORITY from celebrating as we choose!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
(From Rick Roberts' Docket)
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
November 10, 2004
For Sale
Now that the election is over it's time to pay for the campain! John Kerry racked up some huge bills and has put some personal things up for sale. Like the following...
View image
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
October 11, 2004
Tax cuts explained
Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill "fairly" - the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh $7.
The eighth $12.
The ninth $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20."
So, now dinner for the ten only cost $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So, the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six, the paying customers? How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share'?
The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being 'PAID' to eat their meal.
So, the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay. And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man "but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than me!"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore. There are lots of good restaurants in Europe and the Caribbean.
(Thanks Hans)
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
September 22, 2004
Nuff Said
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
August 25, 2004
Top ten jokes about Kerry
"We make jokes about it but the truth is this presidential election really offers us a choice of two well-informed, opposing positions on every issue. OK, they both belong to John Kerry, but they're still there." —Jay Leno
"John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500 billion deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card." —Craig Kilborn
"John Kerry reportedly flew in his private hairdresser before his 'Meet the Press' interview for a total cost of $1,000. That's $1,000 for a haircut, which sounds like a lot, but have you seen the size of Kerry's head?" —Jay Leno
"Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton." —David Letterman
"They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's nothing. He once raised $500 million with two words: 'I do.'" —Jay Leno
"This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, 'I'm John Kerry and I approve of this message — if I have one.'" —Craig Kilborn
"The White House began airing their TV commercials to reelect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is condemning his use of 9/11 in the ads. He said it is unconscionable to use the tragic memory of a war in order to get elected, unless of course, it's the Vietnam War." —Jay Leno
"Please explain to me why John Kerry sounds more dickish telling the truth than Bush sounds when he's lying. How is that possible?" —Jon Stewart
"During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage." —Conan O'Brien
"In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure, it may take another five years, but this is it." —Jay Leno
(Thanks Hans!)
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
August 19, 2004
The Marine and the Old Man
One sunny day in 2005, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Kerry was not elected President ."
The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Kerry was not elected president and does not reside here."
The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Kerry. I've told you already that Mr. Kerry was not elected president and does not reside here. Don't you understand?"
The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
August 10, 2004
Facts to Consider
There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq during the month of January.....
In the fair city of Detroit there were 35 murders in the month of January. That's just one American city, about as deadly as the entire war torn country of Iraq.
When some claim President Bush shouldn't have started this war, state the following ...FDR...led us into World War II.
Germany never attacked us: Japan did. From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost, an average of 112,500 per year.
Truman... finished that war and started one in Korea, North Korea never attacked us. From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost, an average of 18,334 per year.
John F. Kennedy started the Vietnam conflict in 1962. Vietnam never attacked us. Johnson... turned Vietnam into a quagmire. From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost, an average of 5,800 per year.
Clinton...went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent, Bosnia never attacked us. He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter three times by Sudan and did nothing. Osama has attacked us on multiple occasions.
In the two years since terrorists attacked us President Bush has ...
liberated two countries,
crushed the Taliban,
crippled al-Qaida,
put nuclear inspectors in Libya, Iran and North Korea without firing a shot, and captured a terrorist who slaughtered 300,000 of his own people.
The Democrats are complaining about how long the war is taking, but...
It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take the Branch Davidian compound.
That was a 51 day operation.
We've been looking for evidence of chemical weapons in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records.
It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard than it took Ted Kennedy to call the police after his Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick.
It took less time to take Iraq than it took to count the votes in Florida!!!!
Our Commander-In-Chief is doing a GREAT JOB!
The Military moral is high!
The biased media hopes we are too ignorant to realize the facts.
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
August 06, 2004
Know thy crowd...
Politicians love to play to local crowds by jumping on the bandwagon of area sports teams. That can get tricky, however, on a whirlwind political campaign that might sweep through several states in a single day. Last Sunday, for example, John Kerry told a crowd that he was a big supporter of "Buckeye football." Unfortunately for Kerry, he was speaking in Taylor, Mich., and not Bowling Green, Ohio, where he had been earlier in the day. As the boos rained down, the candidate quickly realized his mistake and sent a belated shout-out to the Wolverines.
(From sportsillustrated.com/)
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
Know thy crowd...
Politicians love to play to local crowds by jumping on the bandwagon of area sports teams. That can get tricky, however, on a whirlwind political campaign that might sweep through several states in a single day. Last Sunday, for example, John Kerry told a crowd that he was a big supporter of "Buckeye football." Unfortunately for Kerry, he was speaking in Taylor, Mich., and not Bowling Green, Ohio, where he had been earlier in the day. As the boos rained down, the candidate quickly realized his mistake and sent a belated shout-out to the Wolverines.
(From sportsillustrated.com/)
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
February 19, 2004
If you really think Bush lied...
If you really believe that President Bush lied - - THAT THERE NEVER WERE ANY WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION IN IRAQ AND HE TOOK US TO WAR SOLELY FOR HIS OIL BUDDIES -- then read this...
"One way or the other, we are determined to deny Iraq the capacity to develop weapons of mass destruction and the missiles to deliver them. That is our bottom line."
- President Clinton, Feb. 4, 1998
"If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction program."
- President Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998
"Iraq is a long way from [the USA], but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face."
- Madeline Albright, Feb 18, 1998
"He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten times since 1983."
- Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb, 18, 1998
"[W]e urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs."
- Letter to President Clinton, signed by Sens. Carl Levin,
Tom Daschle, John Kerry, and others Oct. 9, 1998
"Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process."
- Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998
"Hussein has ... chosen to spend his money on building weapons of mass destruction and palaces for his cronies."
- Madeline Albright, Clinton Secretary of State, Nov. 10, 1999
"There is no doubt that ... Saddam Hussein has invigorated his weapons programs. Reports indicate that biological, chemical and nuclear programs continue apace and may be back to pre-Gulf War status. In addition, Saddam continues to redefine delivery systems and is doubtless using the cover of a licit missile program to develop longer-range missiles that will threaten the United States and our allies."
- Letter to President Bush, Signed by Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL,)
and others, December 5, 2001
"We begin with the common belief that Saddam Hussein is a tyrant and a threat to the peace and stability of the region. He has ignored the mandated of the United Nations and is building weapons of mass destruction and the means of delivering them."
- Sen. Carl Levin (D, MI), Sept. 19, 2002
"We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country."
- Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002
"Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power."
- Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002
"We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction."
- Sen. Ted Kennedy (D, MA), Sept. 27, 2002
"The last UN weapons inspectors left Iraq in October of 1998. We are confident that Saddam Hussein retains some stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, and that he has since embarked on a crash course to build up his chemical and biological warfare capabilities. Intelligence reports indicate that he is seeking nuclear weapons..."
- Sen. Robert Byrd (D, WV), Oct. 3, 2002
"I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force-- if necessary-- to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security."
- Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Oct. 9, 2002
"There is unmistakable evidence that Saddam Hussein is working aggressively to develop nuclear weapons and will likely have nuclear weapons within the next five years ... We also should remember we have always underestimated the progress Saddam has made in development of weapons of mass destruction."
- Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D, WV), Oct 10, 2002
"He has systematically violated, over the course of the past 11 years, every significant UN resolution that has demanded that he disarm and destroy his chemical and biological weapons, and any nuclear capacity. This he has refused to do" Rep.
- Henry Waxman (D, CA), Oct. 10, 2002
"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members
.. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons."
- Sen. Hillary Clinton (D, NY), Oct 10, 2002
"We are in possession of what I think to be compelling evidence that Saddam Hussein has, and has had for a number of years, a developing capacity for the production and storage of weapons of mass destruction."
- Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL), Dec. 8, 2002
"Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime ... He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation ... And now he is miscalculating America's response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction... So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real ..."
- Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Jan. 23. 2003
SO NOW THE DEMOCRATS SAY PRESIDENT BUSH LIED, THAT THERE NEVER WERE ANY WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION AND HE TOOK US TO WAR FOR HIS OIL BUDDIES??
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
February 18, 2004
CLOSE THE BORDER NOW!
In what has to be the most ignorant and outrageous act of stupidity, Mexican soccer fans attending the U.S. vs. Mexico game yesterday in Guadalajara blew loud whistles during the American National Anthem. But the worst of it came when 26 minutes into the game 60,000 Mexicans started chanting "Osama, Osama, Osama" at our team. Later, many mexicans (yes, it's lower case on purpose) displayed even more callousness and ignorance by saying "We make fun of everything," and added: "We think the United States exaggerated its reaction about terrorism and security measures." The stupid person being interviewed went on to say "It doesn't matter if it is the United States or another country. We need to show what Mexicans are made of." Well, you certainly showed us what you're made of. It often times comes out of a cow.
Posted by Matt at 11:23 AM | Comments (0)
February 05, 2004
The Genius of Ann Coulter...
Some great quotes from this fine lady...
“Former front-runner Howard Dean sat out this week's primaries, but still managed to make news by ridiculing the FCC’s plan to investigate MTV's halftime show at the Super Bowl. Dean pronounced the proposed investigation "silly." He explained that, as a doctor, a naked breast is "not exactly an unusual phenomenon for me."
That's an interesting standard. Presumably a primetime exhibition of Janet Jackson having a full pelvic exam and pap smear would not be "exactly an unusual phenomenon" for Dean either. Let's just be grateful Dean's not a proctologist.
Even CBS executives were enraged by MTV's halftime show, saying they could have gotten the identical show from National Geographic for a fraction of the price.“
image from thoseshirts.com.
Posted by Matt at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)